I have never been happy with myself.
For 16+ years, I've hopped from job to job, relationship to relationship, state to state, trying to find my happiness. All throughout that, I've been playing MMOs. I made friends there when I couldn't find any in person. People there didn't judge me; not much, anyway.
And it took a while, but eventually I found you guys. Of all the friends I've made and managed to keep online, you guys are some of the most consistent. You never give me shit for my unpredictable hiatuses, or for being unable to participate due to chronic illness, or for sticking my foot in my mouth due to anxiety. No matter what shit came down the pipeline, you guys stood alongside me with it.
I'm never going to forget that. But I've finally hit a point in my life where I am happy, and I have things I want and need to work on, and those things are basically chewing up my game time. I find myself with a couple of hours a week, tops, to spend on a game anymore. I definitely can't find the time (or adjust my work schedule) to accommodate gaming on a communally-agreed on schedule.
The good news is, I got that promotion, and I love my job. My coworkers are friends, instead of people I just tolerate. My meds are stable, I'm looking at apartments with a roommate... it's taken way too fucking long, but I'm finally getting my life in order. And I hate that I have to give something up to make that happen, because that tiny voice in the back of my head tells me I'm blaming that thing for keeping me back, but that's not so. I know it's not.
RP and games never held me back - they kept me up when I would've drowned. They taught me more about people and the world than I ever could've asked for. And those of you who want to, know how to reach me outside of a game anyway. :) So this isn't really goodbye. It's thank you. It's I love you. And it's I'm sorry for keeping y'all hanging on my lazy ass who can't manage to commit to a single character arc for a couple of weeks in a row. :P
We are officially not on a hiatus anymore. We are officially retired. I'm sorry for anything I left unfinished. <3